“What you seek is seeking you”


among the fields of lavender


Manduria, Puglia

Precious moments graze against our palms. Quickly entering our lives, so quickly that we can not grasp fast enough, can’t hold them for more than a mere second. A moment passes us by immediately followed by another. And another. And another. The perfume of those seconds linger, dance above our heads and leave us.


and so it begins…


Sorting through all the feels here this morning as my youngest heads off to preschool for the first time. Mama bear is not loving the quiet in the house right now and missing the tiny footsteps running up and down the halls, the random hugs and kisses and the sound of toys being played with or tossed about. I’m sure it will just take time to get used to this new stage of life, but as of right now, I do not like it.



Abruzzo, Italy

It’s so hard. Impossible even at times. But eliminating background noise is of the utmost importance of my day to day life.

I’m not talking about my kids partaking in sibling rivalry  in the next room or even the fire sirens going off on occasion in town. The trucks making their deliveries make all sorts of noise on the street but it’s not them I am speaking of either.

It’s the nonsense. The nonsensical. The stuff that really does not matter. It’s so easy to pick it out too from all the other sounds going off around me all the time. It’s the stuff I focus on and realize it’s absurdity but still allow it to occupy my thoughts. It has to go. I have no use of it and helps me in no way.  Clogs the mind, drains my brain cells and even hurts my heart at times.

I have no use for it and finding ways to eliminate it from my life entirely is nearly impossible. But slowly, I can eliminate it from my morning, my afternoon or my evening. Slowly it won’t have a hold over my day. Perhaps one day a month will go by and I won’t even remember when I last allowed the noise to grab at me and hold me longer than it should.

One day the noise will cease. It will always be there of course, but I won’t hear it.

Appreciating gray


Abruzzo, Italy

Not everyday is going to be bright. Sometimes the sun’s rays won’t seep through the break in clouds. The greens of the grass won’t illuminate under a crystal blue sky and the petals on the flowers will not shimmer in the sun. It might seem as if the clouds will never again clear away, they will grow thinner at times to a light grey and other times they are as black as night. It is as if you are surrounded in a fog, shrouded in a grey cloak and you can’t seem to shake the veil from your eyes.

On these days, appreciate the grey. The way you breathe in the air around you, take it into your body and release any color you were holding onto. Your eyes won’t strain at the light. Instead they will be free to roam, to seek, to eventually need this time of colorless wonder. Envelope yourself in the blacks, the whites and the greys. You know the sun will shine again in all its splendor. Grasp the grey sky with your hands, hold it close and let it remain within you.